Hello Lima, I really like the layout of your blog. It is simple and elegant, but it isn't too simple. It is actually really peaceful and does not strain your eyes while reading. I have a feeling that your favorite color is pink and purple! I love to swim any time that I can, so looking at your background really just makes me miss the ocean and swimming.
Hello Limarye, my first impressions of your storybook, “The Demons of Latin America” was that I felt like the title was to the point as to what the subject was and I really appreciated that. It sounds like a very fun topic and the end product will no doubt be awesome. The image on your cover page had me thinking that it will be in journal format so if it going to be, then good job setting the tone. The liked that the journal in the image was leather bound and worn out, much like the pages that occupy it. It looks like something a centuries old demon might be carrying around. Your tag line on your cover page is fitting for your image however, I feel as though it serves better as a caption. Your background in nice and dark, which I find fitting to set the tone of your story book. Your introduction was easy to find however, it did not contain anything.
Hello Lima, I chose your story because of its title. This title gives me the idea of what I will be reading and entices readers to want to read about the creatures that go bump in the night. When reading the introduction of your storybook I did feel like it could have been broken up into paragraphs to make it easier to read. I do agree with Mary about your photo. I feel like the caption "The beginning of our stories" would be a good replacement for the title Introduction. I would also recommend that you add some photos of children in fear, monsters in the darkness, etc. to help provide some imagery of what has been occurring. Also, I was a little confused about something. What did you mean when you say that people had begun to isolate them? Are these monsters truly just people who do horrible deeds and are shunned by others or are they creatures that were once accepted and then began to be isolated? I just didn't know which perspective to go with while reading.
Hey Limayre, the title of your storybook really grabbed my attention. The title reminds me of all the stories I have heard from my parents about when they lived back in Central America. So it really touched home for me and is something I am really interesting in reading. Your introduction also does a very good job in giving the reader a taste of what is to come. Something that gave it a good touch was the first person and then ending it with asking the reader if they wanted to hear their voice. However, I do believe you should add a picture of something rather than just a pen. Something related to your stories such as a demon or a monster. Doing this will give more imagery on the horrifying demons. Overall I like the idea of the storybook and am excited to see what the finishing product will be.
I am re-posting my comment so I could expand my comments a bit more.
Your storybook looks so good! I think I am really excited to read about it because it is October and October means creepy stories to me! I think the color scheme and the layout is really well done....(In fact, it motivates me to work on mine a lot more!) The whole website that you built will benefit and help set the mood for your stories that you will be writing.
I agree with Justin about the introduction broken up into smaller, easy to read paragraphs, but it was still a good read. I got chills reading it, I liked that you are kind of confused the entire time because I did not know what perspective I was reading from. Was that intended? I also really enjoyed that the images make it really mysterious.
Hey Limayre! I like the look of your website. It has a dark and old-world feel, which is perfect for your subject. The pictures you choose for your homepage and introduction helped set the tone of your story. I thought your introduction was very intriguing. But if I hadn't read the title I wouldn't have had any idea what it was about.
In the first three sentences there are a couple of double spaces between words where there shouldn't be. Maybe if you could let the narrator name themselves it would help out. I agree with the others that breaking down the size of the paragraphs would be helpful. It would make it easier to read and you have some great sentences that could end certain sections and make them more dramatic.
Overall, I think you did a very good job, especially getting into the narrator's voice. I look forward to seeing where your storybook goes!
This is a very deep and dark story that has a lot of potential to be really great. I like the ominous feeling you get when you read it, as well as the use mystery in order to draw the reader in closer to the story. I think you used a lot of great detail to highlight the dark aspects of the demons. There are a few grammatical errors that could be fixed with some proofreading. There are also a lot of choppy sentences that could be fixed and make it flow a little better. I was also a little confused at the picture you used. I don't understand the connection between the image and what it is saying about the story. I would have loved to have read an authors note that maybe could have cleared up some of my questions I have about the reading. I also would have liked to have read your take on why you wrote this story the way you did. All in all though, it was a good story and I did enjoy reading it. With a few tweaks I think it could be really awesome!
HI Limayre! Let me first start by saying how I really like the color/theme of the background for your website. I think it goes really well with demon/ghost related things. I am doing ghost stories, so I used the same design :)
On to the coverpage. The picture is really great. It really draws the readers in. I like the sentence you put also!
Now to the introduction. Great plot to build your stories on. I like the descriptions and the details you wrote. Also the background information really made it a great introduction. There were some grammar mistakes I found, but you can fix those real quick. One is the second sentence in the second paragraph, the "were shunned" part I thought is missing something before it. I agree with Michael about the image. I get it's about the start of the stories, but a demon picture I think would really get more attention and make it more interesting.
But I liked your introduction and like where it is going. I will surely come back to read your stories.
Hi Lima, I already commented on your story book when it was still just a baby so to speak and I really wanted to revisit it as my free choice. The first thing that grabbed my attention in your introduction was definitely the image of “La Llorona in the Forest”. It set the mood of the story, that is for sure! I feel when you wrote, “They called us crazy but we weren't crazy, at least not yet, hahahahaha,” really added personality to the narrator and was a great way to transition to the next sentence. Overall I think you did a really good job with your introduction. The mood and tone you created really fascinated me and set up the rest of your stories. Some things I noticed: “may generations ago”, should be many. And I really wish there was an author’s note to maybe tell us who the narrator was. So curious! I was really excited to see that the first story was in journal format for it goes really well with the image of the journal on your cover page.
• I like that this is in diary format – it should definitely add a different persective.
• Thank you for believing in the Oxford comma.
• “I should fight for what I want” – uh oh. That’s a dangerous line of thinking, lol.
• I like the sprinkling of Spanish (?) you’ve used. It really helps to keep the reader in the story and grounded in the culture of the narrator.
• Introducing the “he stopped loving me” concept as its own paragraph would add more of punch. So something like “It was all so perfect. // I don’t understand how he could stop loving me!”
• There should be a comma between “beautiful” and “angelic children”
• “families” should be “family’s” and a question mark after “treason”
• You should probably read back over this – you have a few grammar and word choice mistakes. I’m sure Laura’s already sent you the email with what you need to fix, so I won’t point out anything else.
Despite some mistakes, this is still a wonderful story!
Wow! I really enjoyed your writing style. I'm also doing diary entries for mine, but instead of multiple I'm only doing one entry per story. I like that you have multiple entries. It's a great idea and really allows for more character development. It's also cool that the dates are happening right now. It's not in the past or the future, but it's an ongoing experience and adventure. I also really like your image choices. They fit into your story and allow my imagination to connect to something other than your words (which are great as well). Even though Halloween was a few days ago, the spookiness of this story really pulls me back into the eerie mood. Overall, wonderful story and great job! I can't wait to read more to see what happens in your future stories that you write. Keep it up and have a wonderful rest of your semester.
I had to come and see your storybook because it has to do with the paranormal. I am always interested in the things that go bump in the night. I do not read ghost stories or watch scary movies very often though. I like the image you chose at the bottom with the old fountain pen, it is so suspenseful. The image at the top with the story on the side is really neat too. I do love the ghostly image! The laughing in the introduction is so creepy. Good job there. I look forward to reading more of the storyline to see what you mean about how the elders separated them and made everyone fear them. Does this mean at one time the ghosts were accepted or that the ghosts just remember being alive? I am very curious about what the story is by what you wrote in the introduction. I really like what you have done here.
Hey, Limayre I want to let you know how much of a good job you did on your story! I really enjoyed reading the story through the perspective of Maria. This really allowed me to know what she was thinking as she took her children and drowned them. It makes me realize that as a human when you are angry you really have to learn to control and maintain that anger before you do something you will regret. I really like how you added some Spanish in there because it really helped me imagine a Latina woman letting her feelings out. This gave your story a sense of personality to her character. Also this is the first time I have read the story of La Llorona so your story was really informative to me. Growing up my grandmother would tell me some people would here the Llorona cry but I was never told the actually story behind her. I think just rereading your story to catch small typos would help but other then that good job!
I am so happy that I came back to read your storybook as my extra credit option this week! You are doing a wonderful job. I like that your first story about the weeping woman was epistolary style. I have been reading a lot of books in that format and it's slowly becoming one of my favorite ways of storytelling.
You've done a good job with incorporating Spanish into your stories. They have added a whole new dimension to your storytelling.
I think my favorite line is the the last one in El Cucuy. It made me think of that saying you don't always want what you wish for.
You're doing an amazing job. Keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing where you go from here!
Hey Limayre, reading your story reminded me of when I was younger and used to hear the threat “El Cuy Cuy” whenever I used to not want to obey. This again touched home because of my personal memories on this monster. I really like how you integrated his thoughts by writing your story in first person to understand El Cuy Cuy’s actions. This allows the reader to see things through his eyes and see his point as to why he says he is not bad but instead a helping hand. I think this was probably my favorite story in your storybook because it is probably my favorite monster story out of them all. I also liked how you changed the story from the girls being found to the girl being eaten. The reason why is because when I was younger I also was told that El Cuy Cuy eats you. Good job! Keep up the good work!
Hola! I really loved your stories and especially how you used your own heritage. It was a very interesting take on something not a lot of people (at least not around here) know much about. It kind of makes me wish I had thought to reflect a little more of my Puerto Rican heritage in my stories and my blog. I'm really passionate about East Asia but I think I could of at least given one or two assignments to my ancestors. I really love that you shared so much of your heritage with us in your introduction and your stories and in just about everything you did this semester!
Hello Lima,
ReplyDeleteI really like the layout of your blog. It is simple and elegant, but it isn't too simple. It is actually really peaceful and does not strain your eyes while reading. I have a feeling that your favorite color is pink and purple! I love to swim any time that I can, so looking at your background really just makes me miss the ocean and swimming.
Hello Limarye, my first impressions of your storybook, “The Demons of Latin America” was that I felt like the title was to the point as to what the subject was and I really appreciated that. It sounds like a very fun topic and the end product will no doubt be awesome. The image on your cover page had me thinking that it will be in journal format so if it going to be, then good job setting the tone. The liked that the journal in the image was leather bound and worn out, much like the pages that occupy it. It looks like something a centuries old demon might be carrying around. Your tag line on your cover page is fitting for your image however, I feel as though it serves better as a caption. Your background in nice and dark, which I find fitting to set the tone of your story book. Your introduction was easy to find however, it did not contain anything.
ReplyDeleteHello Lima,
ReplyDeleteI chose your story because of its title. This title gives me the idea of what I will be reading and entices readers to want to read about the creatures that go bump in the night. When reading the introduction of your storybook I did feel like it could have been broken up into paragraphs to make it easier to read. I do agree with Mary about your photo. I feel like the caption "The beginning of our stories" would be a good replacement for the title Introduction. I would also recommend that you add some photos of children in fear, monsters in the darkness, etc. to help provide some imagery of what has been occurring. Also, I was a little confused about something. What did you mean when you say that people had begun to isolate them? Are these monsters truly just people who do horrible deeds and are shunned by others or are they creatures that were once accepted and then began to be isolated? I just didn't know which perspective to go with while reading.
Hey Limayre, the title of your storybook really grabbed my attention. The title reminds me of all the stories I have heard from my parents about when they lived back in Central America. So it really touched home for me and is something I am really interesting in reading. Your introduction also does a very good job in giving the reader a taste of what is to come. Something that gave it a good touch was the first person and then ending it with asking the reader if they wanted to hear their voice. However, I do believe you should add a picture of something rather than just a pen. Something related to your stories such as a demon or a monster. Doing this will give more imagery on the horrifying demons. Overall I like the idea of the storybook and am excited to see what the finishing product will be.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Limayre,
ReplyDeleteI am re-posting my comment so I could expand my comments a bit more.
Your storybook looks so good! I think I am really excited to read about it because it is October and October means creepy stories to me! I think the color scheme and the layout is really well done....(In fact, it motivates me to work on mine a lot more!) The whole website that you built will benefit and help set the mood for your stories that you will be writing.
I agree with Justin about the introduction broken up into smaller, easy to read paragraphs, but it was still a good read. I got chills reading it, I liked that you are kind of confused the entire time because I did not know what perspective I was reading from. Was that intended? I also really enjoyed that the images make it really mysterious.
I am so excited to see where your storybook goes!
Hey Limayre! I like the look of your website. It has a dark and old-world feel, which is perfect for your subject. The pictures you choose for your homepage and introduction helped set the tone of your story. I thought your introduction was very intriguing. But if I hadn't read the title I wouldn't have had any idea what it was about.
ReplyDeleteIn the first three sentences there are a couple of double spaces between words where there shouldn't be. Maybe if you could let the narrator name themselves it would help out. I agree with the others that breaking down the size of the paragraphs would be helpful. It would make it easier to read and you have some great sentences that could end certain sections and make them more dramatic.
Overall, I think you did a very good job, especially getting into the narrator's voice. I look forward to seeing where your storybook goes!
This is a very deep and dark story that has a lot of potential to be really great. I like the ominous feeling you get when you read it, as well as the use mystery in order to draw the reader in closer to the story. I think you used a lot of great detail to highlight the dark aspects of the demons. There are a few grammatical errors that could be fixed with some proofreading. There are also a lot of choppy sentences that could be fixed and make it flow a little better. I was also a little confused at the picture you used. I don't understand the connection between the image and what it is saying about the story. I would have loved to have read an authors note that maybe could have cleared up some of my questions I have about the reading. I also would have liked to have read your take on why you wrote this story the way you did. All in all though, it was a good story and I did enjoy reading it. With a few tweaks I think it could be really awesome!
ReplyDeleteHI Limayre! Let me first start by saying how I really like the color/theme of the background for your website. I think it goes really well with demon/ghost related things. I am doing ghost stories, so I used the same design :)
ReplyDeleteOn to the coverpage. The picture is really great. It really draws the readers in. I like the sentence you put also!
Now to the introduction. Great plot to build your stories on. I like the descriptions and the details you wrote. Also the background information really made it a great introduction. There were some grammar mistakes I found, but you can fix those real quick. One is the second sentence in the second paragraph, the "were shunned" part I thought is missing something before it. I agree with Michael about the image. I get it's about the start of the stories, but a demon picture I think would really get more attention and make it more interesting.
But I liked your introduction and like where it is going. I will surely come back to read your stories.
Hi Lima,
ReplyDeleteI already commented on your story book when it was still just a baby so to speak and I really wanted to revisit it as my free choice. The first thing that grabbed my attention in your introduction was definitely the image of “La Llorona in the Forest”. It set the mood of the story, that is for sure! I feel when you wrote, “They called us crazy but we weren't crazy, at least not yet, hahahahaha,” really added personality to the narrator and was a great way to transition to the next sentence. Overall I think you did a really good job with your introduction. The mood and tone you created really fascinated me and set up the rest of your stories. Some things I noticed: “may generations ago”, should be many. And I really wish there was an author’s note to maybe tell us who the narrator was. So curious! I was really excited to see that the first story was in journal format for it goes really well with the image of the journal on your cover page.
Hey, Limayre!
ReplyDeleteThoughts as I read:
• I like that this is in diary format – it should definitely add a different persective.
• Thank you for believing in the Oxford comma.
• “I should fight for what I want” – uh oh. That’s a dangerous line of thinking, lol.
• I like the sprinkling of Spanish (?) you’ve used. It really helps to keep the reader in the story and grounded in the culture of the narrator.
• Introducing the “he stopped loving me” concept as its own paragraph would add more of punch. So something like “It was all so perfect. // I don’t understand how he could stop loving me!”
• There should be a comma between “beautiful” and “angelic children”
• “families” should be “family’s” and a question mark after “treason”
• You should probably read back over this – you have a few grammar and word choice mistakes. I’m sure Laura’s already sent you the email with what you need to fix, so I won’t point out anything else.
Despite some mistakes, this is still a wonderful story!
Limayre,
ReplyDeleteWow! I really enjoyed your writing style. I'm also doing diary entries for mine, but instead of multiple I'm only doing one entry per story. I like that you have multiple entries. It's a great idea and really allows for more character development. It's also cool that the dates are happening right now. It's not in the past or the future, but it's an ongoing experience and adventure. I also really like your image choices. They fit into your story and allow my imagination to connect to something other than your words (which are great as well). Even though Halloween was a few days ago, the spookiness of this story really pulls me back into the eerie mood. Overall, wonderful story and great job! I can't wait to read more to see what happens in your future stories that you write. Keep it up and have a wonderful rest of your semester.
Hi Limayre!
ReplyDeleteI had to come and see your storybook because it has to do with the paranormal. I am always interested in the things that go bump in the night. I do not read ghost stories or watch scary movies very often though. I like the image you chose at the bottom with the old fountain pen, it is so suspenseful. The image at the top with the story on the side is really neat too. I do love the ghostly image! The laughing in the introduction is so creepy. Good job there. I look forward to reading more of the storyline to see what you mean about how the elders separated them and made everyone fear them. Does this mean at one time the ghosts were accepted or that the ghosts just remember being alive? I am very curious about what the story is by what you wrote in the introduction. I really like what you have done here.
Hey, Limayre
ReplyDeleteI want to let you know how much of a good job you did on your story! I really enjoyed reading the story through the perspective of Maria. This really allowed me to know what she was thinking as she took her children and drowned them. It makes me realize that as a human when you are angry you really have to learn to control and maintain that anger before you do something you will regret. I really like how you added some Spanish in there because it really helped me imagine a Latina woman letting her feelings out. This gave your story a sense of personality to her character. Also this is the first time I have read the story of La Llorona so your story was really informative to me. Growing up my grandmother would tell me some people would here the Llorona cry but I was never told the actually story behind her. I think just rereading your story to catch small typos would help but other then that good job!
HI Limayre,
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that I came back to read your storybook as my extra credit option this week! You are doing a wonderful job. I like that your first story about the weeping woman was epistolary style. I have been reading a lot of books in that format and it's slowly becoming one of my favorite ways of storytelling.
You've done a good job with incorporating Spanish into your stories. They have added a whole new dimension to your storytelling.
I think my favorite line is the the last one in El Cucuy. It made me think of that saying you don't always want what you wish for.
You're doing an amazing job. Keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing where you go from here!
Hey Limayre, reading your story reminded me of when I was younger and used to hear the threat “El Cuy Cuy” whenever I used to not want to obey. This again touched home because of my personal memories on this monster. I really like how you integrated his thoughts by writing your story in first person to understand El Cuy Cuy’s actions. This allows the reader to see things through his eyes and see his point as to why he says he is not bad but instead a helping hand. I think this was probably my favorite story in your storybook because it is probably my favorite monster story out of them all. I also liked how you changed the story from the girls being found to the girl being eaten. The reason why is because when I was younger I also was told that El Cuy Cuy eats you. Good job! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHola! I really loved your stories and especially how you used your own heritage. It was a very interesting take on something not a lot of people (at least not around here) know much about. It kind of makes me wish I had thought to reflect a little more of my Puerto Rican heritage in my stories and my blog. I'm really passionate about East Asia but I think I could of at least given one or two assignments to my ancestors. I really love that you shared so much of your heritage with us in your introduction and your stories and in just about everything you did this semester!
ReplyDelete