Joseph
was brought into Egypt, and Potifar had grace over Joseph. Joseph served him
and gained trust he even became in charge of overseeing the house. All trust
was put in his hands. However, Joseph had been away for a very long time and
although he was happy he was weak. He was weak in the sense that he longed to
lie with a woman. Potifar's wife was very beautiful and Joseph spent a lot of
time around her. Since he over saw the palace he had keys to all the rooms. One
day he thought " I will only take a peek" and he made his way to the
bathing house at the time that Potifar's wife would be in there. Without her
knowing he watched her undress and bathe. Her soft skin glistened as the
moonlight struck her through the open window. Her skin so fair and soft, her
breast laid perfectly on her chest and he lusted her. He knew that Potifar
would be gone for some time since he had business to take care of with the
Pharaoh it was a perfect time. Potifar's wife seemed lonely and upset as it had
been months that she had seen her loved one. Joseph made his way in and
caressed her and told her it would all be okay. Potifar's wife trusted him, as
he was the second man in charge. As many times before she laid in her bed in
her nightgown as Joseph guarded her place. Joseph would no longer hide his
desire he approached her bedside and grabbed her hand. "Lie with me",
he said, "I will make you forger all your sorrows. With me you will never
meet solitude again. " He leaned it to kiss and rubbed her thigh. She was
appalled, "My master would not approve. How dare you come into my house
and disrespect me in such way? How could I do this evil and sin against my
God?" She ran out and cried for help. Joseph knew it would only be a
matter of time. Potifar heard the news and made his way back to Egypt only to
find Joseph gone. Joseph prayed to his God but his God had turned away for he
has disrespected his master but above all had disrespected his father. Not too
much time had passed and Joseph was found, he was thrown in jail and shortly
after paid for his actions as he faced the gallows.
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Author's Note: The original story that inspired my own was Potifar's Wife . In the original story Joseph was loyal to his master and his God. He was humble and honest. Potifar's wife was promiscuous and lusted Joseph. One day Joseph was naive and went on with his day. Potifar's wife approached Joseph and told him to lie with her. Joseph was not weak and ran out the room leaving his garment that she had pulled away. Ashamed, she blamed him and accused him of harassing her and trying to sleep with her. Joseph was sent to jail but later forgiven as he was innocent. I made this story my own by changing the character involved with the lust and changing some events by adding more detail. However, I wanted to keep the betrayal story line the same. In my story, the betrayer is Joseph. Potifar's wife is put in a positive light rather than a negative one. In the original story there is no consequence for Potifar's wife even though she was the one who approached Joseph. I wanted to make sure that that was not the case in my story, therefore I made Joseph be punished by facing death in the gallows. I was really excited when I found the picture above as it was a really great addition to the story as you could see what was going on in the story as well.
Hi Limayre!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story. I am familiar with the original story and I like your version better. Yours is more like a steamy modern romance novel. The biblical version is much harder to believe than your tale. I think by keeping the betrayal story line the same you kept the main point of the story. Betraying God was the worst part, and betraying your master, and disrespecting the masters wife. In the original, the masters wife is the one who is the betrayer and Joseph is the one who is scandalized but he still has to pay the price. The biblical tales rarely have a happy ending. I like how your story actually punishes the guilty party instead of the victim. I think it reflects a more modern idea of social customs, because if it was from biblical times I bet the woman would have been punished as well as Joseph because it would have caused such a scandal of epic proportions. Again, I like your version. Nicely done, it was fun to read.
Hi Limayre, I have never heard of this original story that you based your writing on. I like how you changed the story around to make the actual person responsible for the actions being punished instead of the person with more of a trusted voice. The original tale had a twisted way the story played out and was obviously wrong in multiple ways but is based on actual actions that would happen if something like that were to happen back in that time. The man would be the one responsible for everything and punished no matter what he said.
ReplyDeleteHey what's up hello Limayre. What a story, like an Egyptian biblical 50 shades of Grey. Good story structure. I was reeled in with the great detail and emotion found throughout. The conclusion was good as well with the addition of the gallows. Perhaps more detail right before the climax could create even more of a build up. Maybe adding just as much detail you used in describing the beautiful lady. Good job though!
ReplyDeleteHi Limayre, I enjoyed reading your story. I like how in the original story it was Portifar’s wife that tried to seduce him and you made it your own by reversing the two. How very scandalous. I wish there was a bit more character development between all the characters. Did Portifar and Joseph have more of a master/ servant relationship or were they more brotherly. Were Portifar and his wife happy? How long did he have ill intentions towards her? Also, Joseph’s yearning for Porifar’s wife could have been more drawn out as well. Sort of like a cheetah waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce on his prey. I really like the words chosen to describe the actual act of seduction. Mentioning her trust in him made the betrayal that much better. It also would have been nice to hear Portifar’s reaction to the news. Over all, you did a good job on your story.
ReplyDeleteHey Limayre! So reading your story was very interesting and I enjoyed it because I got a sense of the moment. The way you switched the character with the lust was very interesting and good for the story. Also the way you described Potifar’s wife undressing and the descriptive language of her body was excellent because it gives the reader so much description it is as if they were there. You honestly did an excellent job there in my opinion. Secondly I really like how you totally switch up the whole story where instead of having joseph turn away it was Potfiar’s wife who turn away from the sin. I think you can also add Potifar’s reaction to add a little bit more emotion to the story. Also overall good job Limayre! I really did enjoyed reading your story it was a good drama. You have a good sense of creativity and descriptive language.
ReplyDeleteHi Limayre. I liked that you really flipped the story on its head in your retelling of it. Everybody likes a story where the bad guy gets what’s coming to them. It was an interesting contrast reading your story on your blog. Your blogs color scheme is very pink, purple, and white, which are all fairly bright colors. The story by contrast, is pretty dark. At least it is content-wise. It made reading the story visually interesting as well as mentally. I also really liked the picture you chose for you story. The further into the semester we get and the more we post, the more I realize how hard it is to find a good picture that really fits not only the original story but also your version of it. One of the things that I noticed about your post right off the bat was that it was all one big block of text. I think going back and editing it so that there were line breaks would have made the story flow a little bit more. Overall, it was enjoyable!
ReplyDeleteHi Limarye,
ReplyDeleteI have never read the original story but your author's note really helped me understand why yours is different. I must say, I like that you made it where the accuser was to be held responsible for their actions.
I found it quite amusing that your blog style is so light and fun while the story was rather dark and heavy. I quite like stark contrasts, so, to me it did not hurt the meaning behind your story.
My only advice is to break up the story from a block of text into paragraphs. I think it would of made it much easier to read and a bit less overwhelming. Sometimes people can get nervous about reading a large portion of text because they anticipate it will take them longer than reading several small sections at a time.
I think you did a really good job though and I look forward to reading more of your work over the semester!